BY WAYNE DOZIER
SPECIAL TO THE ELMORE/AUTAUGA NEWS
Fathers, if you think you are not important to your child, just read this. This is a letter given to me by one of the female prisoners.
“Hi, my name is Jennifer & my hurt, hangup & addiction is the attention I get from men. Early in life my dad left my mom when I was 3. He says it was because of her cheating on him. She says it was because of him not wanting to leave drugs alone. Either way I couldn’t blame them for their decisions. I just know that I suffered their consequences right along with them. Growing up my dad was in and out of my life. My mom had different men in my life, and I had other men in and out of mine. I was promiscuous, I was very flirtatious, and I was always longing for “SOMETHING MORE.”
Looking back now, I am 36 with two children by two different men. I was so desperate to have the family I never had that at 17 I was on my own with daddy to be to my daughter. At 19 I had my first born who was/is my first true love at first sight. I finally had something in this world I could love unconditionally that no one could take from me.
I was with this man for seven years. He and I separated because I felt like I longed for “SOMETHING MORE.”. So, I was single for a total of four months and then ended up in a relationship with the father to be of my son. After four years, we had my boy who was a love like no other. His dad and I separated after almost 11 years Together. WHY? Because I felt like I longed for “SOMETHING MORE! As I reflect I see that each time I wanted “SOMETHING MORE” it was in that I had everything. But I believe because of my lack of having a constant “DADDY LOVE” growing up that I constantly feel like I’m missing something. Like I’m always wanting “SOMETHING MORE”.
Like a void that I always try to fill…but the true harsh reality is that I try to fill something that could never be filled. I don’t know what it’s like to have that daddy security and love from childhood, so I will never be able to create it or replace it. It’s hard for me to admit and deal with the simple fact that the same things that hurt me early on in life are the very same things I chase today. But the first step is ADMITTING… Hi, my name is Jennifer, my hurt, hangups and addiction is the attention I get from men.”
Fathers, we do play a very important part in our children’s lives whether we are there or not.
Fathers, many times we are there physically in our children’s lives…but are we there mentally, emotionally and spiritually?
TODAY IN THE JAIL…A WORD FROM CHAPLAIN DOZIER…
I talked to the men about them being in their children’s lives if possible. If they haven’t been then they need to start now by making the best of the situation. They may not be able to pull them into their life after they get out of jail on a regular basis; but they can call them or write them. If at all possible reach out to them.
TO THE WOMEN PRISONERS – I encouraged them to, if at all possible, let their children make contact with their father. If their biological father could not be in their children’s lives then they could at least have a good positive male influence in their lives such as a coach, or maybe their grandfather or an uncle or male teacher.
I then closed this talk and asked each one of them with a show of hands…How many of you did not have a real father in your life growing up?
Statistics tell us that 85 percent of those incarcerated across our nation, either men or women, grew up in fatherless homes.
Let me remind of you one thing. You may not have had a father in your life growing up BUT you can have a HEAVENLY FATHER IN YOUR LIFE.
If you are not a Christian you can ask Jesus to come into your heart and forgive you of the sin in your life and to save you…FOR ETERNAL LIFE.
Wayne Dozier runs a prison ministry program and is the chaplain for Autauga and Elmore jails.
