BY RUSTY ALDRIDGE
WETUMPKA, ALABAMA
It is a little after 3 a.m. and I cannot sleep. It’s been like that a lot lately.
I don’t know if my sleep cycle is off or if I’ve been cooped up too long. The doctor tells me I’m at high risk for the COVID-19, The Chinese Virus or The Rockin’ Pneumonia and/or the Boogie Woogie Flu or whatever I can call it without some bleeding heart running in and bleeding all over me.
For that reason, I have cut my travels to the bare minimum, venturing out only for the necessities like Diet Dr. Peppers and Hot Wheel cars. Before anyone reminds me that the aspartame used to sweeten diet drinks will make you stupid, I think that ship has sailed.
Being awake at this hour gives you time to think and reflect; time to ponder the great questions we face in this life. Questions like “Why did they change Darrens on Bewitched? On Bonanza, how come Ben’s sons were just a couple of years younger than he was? When I used the semi-colon a couple of lines back, was that a good call?” So many questions…
My mind drifts back to our national emergency. I have never experienced anything like this.
The recovery rate for people who contract the virus is around 98%. Very smart people have told us that the best way to avoid the disease is to stay at home. Some cities are putting the citizenry under curfews, mandating that people gather in no more than groups of 10 and that they stay 6 to 8 feet apart.
Businesses have closed and some of them, sadly, might never open again. As I said earlier, I have to get
out for supplies, but I still see people going about their business like there’s nothing going on. There is a
98% recovery rate, but there are people dying.
No thank you Big Casino, I ain’t rollin’ them dice.
So, until there’s a cure, a miracle, or a giant space ark to take us off this rock, I’ll just lay low and ponder those ponderable ponderings, like… “How come gasoline went down in price, but they tell us not to go anywhere? Does a person’s chance of contracting the virus go down as their stock pile of toilet paper goes up? What’s worse: Having COVID 19 or being a democrat? If I walk into the bank wearing my surgical mask, am I going to get shot? Is there any way we can give the virus to mosquitos and then deny them medical treatment? Is it racist to go into a Chinese restaurant and assume they serve Chinese
food?”
Now, I think I’ll try to go to sleep again, but I’m sleeping on the floor. That way the wife will be 6 to 8
feet away. I am very high risk for the Chinese virus and I’m not taking any chances!
