By Gerri Miller, Staff Writer
There aren’t many men who could talk an hour and a half about rectal exams, enemas, impotence and sex after 70 and get away with it. Those men aren’t Ed Asner.
I have been to many plays at the Millbrook Community Theatre’s (MCP) current home in the old Robinson Springs Elementary School auditorium, but I have never seen the venue as full of people as I did Thursday night. We are talking a standing room only crowd that gave Asner a standing ovation at the end of his one-man show “A Man and His Prostate.” I have also never heard as much laughter as I did during his show. We are talking gut-busting, go-fix-your-eye makeup-because-you-are-scaring-me laughter.
Most of us over 50 have fond memories of Asner but mention him to younger generations and you may get blank stares. Asner has been an enduring presence in television, film and state for more than 60 years. Earlier this week, he shared a birthday cake with MCP Executive Director John Collier celebrating Asner’s 90th birthday. Asner is best known for his roles in “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” and “Lou Grant.”
Younger audiences will recognize him as Santa in “Elf” and from voicing Carl Frederickson in the animated feature “Up”. He has been nominated 20 times for Emmy Awards and won seven times. He is a Past President of the Screen Actors Guild.
“A Man and His Prostate” was created and written by award-winning Ed Weinberger (9 Emmys, 3 Golden Globes, and a Peabody). The hilarious show is based on his true-life experience while vacationing in Italy and being rushed to a hospital for prostate surgery.
Asner was born to play this role. He plays a stubborn old codger who won’t take any of life’s injustices sitting down as he prepares for the surgery. Wearing an LA Dodgers cap, cargo shorts, a red Hawaiian shirt with toucans and sandals, he sits for the entire play except for a few moments when he tastefully demonstrates the difficulties of urination.
The show was definitely for adults only. “To those of you who might find explicit descriptions of a man’s body distasteful — I’m sorry!” he says as he opens the show.
In the play, Asner is reading for an acting role. After taking his seat in a director’s chair, he is handed a loose-leaf notebook with the play’s script. He places his script on a low music stand, turns his baseball cap sideways and begins the hilarious reading that will keep the audience belly laughing for the next hour and a half.
Using a pointer, he periodically lectures about the prostate and sexual functions complete with anatomically correct slides of the relevant organs. In addition, there are comical photographs illustrating the events being told such as him in a hospital bed surrounded by female nurses and him walking with an IV pole with his catheter disguised in a shopping bag.
Asner plays a cantankerous old man who is on a Mediterranean cruise with his wife of 35 years. “I don’t remember the name of the ship. Royal Something. Royal Queen. Royal Princess. Royal Rip-off…,” he muses. His wife becomes ill from the fish tacos that were served on Margarita Monday, so he goes alone to Florence for sightseeing.
Asner’s character collapses in the street and ends up in a “medieval hospital that looks like it was built by Tiberius.” A renowned Italian urologist diagnoses an enlarged prostate and bladder stones instigating the medical journey.
The medical journey provides Asner with the opportunity to display just how funny he can be live on stage. The poor hero of our story must pantomime his symptoms to a doctor and staff who don’t speak English. When he pantomimes “waking up to (pee) eight times during the night,” the play soon transforms into a live sitcom — with the audience serving as a very reliable laugh track.
Asner’s appearance in A Man and His Prostate is a delightfully thrilling opportunity to experience his considerable talents live. With thick, bushy eyebrows that look like two caterpillars traveling across his forehead, he vividly grouses and grimaces and perfectly lands every joke with his monumental comic timing. The play is filled with one-liners, humorous observational anecdotes and flavorful details
The seriousness of the play is also conveyed when he skillfully tones his performance down to recite medical facts and to express the fears of the character’s condition and prognosis. Though quite funny, the play skillfully weaves necessary medical details that in part create an effective public service announcement for men to get prostate exams.
At the core of the show is the fear that something could go wrong in your body at any time and put you near the brink of death. The show talks of everything from rubber ducks to adult escorts on Easter Sunday, and it all comes together in a tale full of twists and turns. The show is humorous and told in excruciating detail ‑ because sometimes you just need to face the full brunt of the truth.
And how in the world did we get a talent of Mr. Asner’s caliber to perform in Millbrook? Collier said Asner’s daughter and booking manager Liza Asner approached him. Ms. Asner said they will often stop at smaller theaters on the way to larger venues.
Hopefully Asner’s visit to Millbrook will attract even more acting legends to our fair town. I won’t say bigger legends because Asner is right there at the top of my list of legends.
